Title:  Past Resurfacing (6/?) Author:  CatHeights Pairing: VOY (P/T) Rating:  R, some angst -------------------------------------------------- Feedback: CatHeights@yahoo.com Archive:  If someone wants to fine by me as long as you drop me an e-mail letting me know where it is archived. -------------------------- Spoiler Warning: Thirty Days --------------------------- Disclaimer: Paramount owns all rights to Star Trek Voyager, its characters, and the Voyager episodes referred to in this story.  The story idea is mine, but I am doing this just for fun, no money to be made. --------------------------       A few more screens and she’d be finished with Seven’s latest reports from Astrometrics.  Captain Janeway leaned back from her terminal and rubbed a tired hand across her eyes.  Sleep had not come easy recently.  Gratefully, she reached down and picked up her cup of coffee.  She inhaled the aroma of the liquid before taking sip.  Leaning backing in her chair, she took another sip feeling the warmth slip through her hands. Her coffee reverie was interrupted when the door to her ready room chimed.  She sighed, put down her coffee and said, "Come in."       Chakotay entered and said, "Captain, I’m sorry to disturb you, but I have something I need to discuss with you."       Janeway smiled warmly at him.  "Chakotay, sit down.  What’s on your mind?"       Chakotay sat down across from her before saying, "It’s Tom."       The smile left Janeway’s face.  "I know he was beamed to sickbay upon his release from the brig."       "Well, as you know the Doctor thought he was only suffering from sleep deprivation and malnutrition, however it seems to be a bit more than that," Chakotay said.       "Tell me," the Captain demanded her face tense.       "He’s lost his memory.  He doesn’t remember Voyager at all," Chakotay said bluntly.       "What?  But how could that happen?" Janeway questioned.       "The Doctor’s not sure.  Tom is not suffering from any neurological problems as far as the Doctor can tell.  He’s hopeful Tom’s memories will return shortly.  Right now, Tom thinks he’s still serving on Exeter," Chakotay said.       Janeway winced and said softly, "The Exeter.  He was serving on the Exeter when the accident at Caldik Prime happened."  She stood up and walked over to a view port.       Chakotay remained seated.  "Yes, that’s what Tuvok, the Doctor and I figured out also."       "So, you think he’s remembering the accident," Janeway asked her voice calm but too quiet.       "That’s our assumption right now.   He’s very withdrawn, plus he asked the Doctor if anyone else had been beamed to sickbay.  The only odd thing is that on several occasions, he’s mentioned a station.  Was a space station somehow a part of the accident?" Chakotay asked.       Janeway turned to face him leaning against the wall.  "Not that I know of," she answered puzzled.  "Is he delirious?"       "He didn’t appear to be.   When we told him he had lost his memory and was currently serving on Voyager, while shocked, he had no trouble understanding what we were saying," Chakotay said.       Janeway was silent for a moment before saying quietly,  "Go ahead.  Say it, Chakotay.  I was wrong.  I should have released him from the brig when you asked me.  I let my anger at his betrayal cloud my judgement.  I shouldn’t have punished him like that."  She closed her eyes and leaned her head back against the wall.       "Kathryn," Chakotay said.  "Tom deserved to be punished.  He stole a shuttle, ignored a direct order, and put this ship at risk.   He did all that knowing the consequences.  What you didn’t know is obviously Tom has issues from his past that he has not dealt with yet.  What’s important now is helping him deal with those issues." He did believe she should have released him from the brig sooner, but she hadn’t, so there was no reason to belabor the point now.       Janeway opened her eyes again, "What does the Doctor propose?"       "That we give him time for his memory to come back naturally.   It will come back.  In fact, B’Elanna was sitting with him before I left and it looked like he remembered her, but just could not figure out from where. We just have to give it a little time," Chakotay said.       Janeway pushed herself away from the wall and said, "I’m going to sickbay."       "Captain, I doubt you will be able to speak with Tom.  He was drifting in and out when I was there."       "Still I want to see him," Janeway said heading for the doors.       "May I accompany you?" Chakotay asked.       Janeway nodded, "Of course."       The two entered the turbo lift and the Captain said, "Deck five."  They rode in silence, quickly exiting the lift once it stopped.  When they entered Sickbay, they found Harry trying to convince B’Elanna to come with him to the mess hall.       "B’Elanna, come on.  Tom’s sleeping and you need to get something to eat.  You’re not going to help him by starving yourself," Harry said placing a hand on her arm.       B’Elanna turned to him impatiently and for what seemed like the twentieth time started to tell him that she wasn’t hungry.  Before she could speak though, she noticed the Captain, and jumped to her feet.  Harry’s hand slipped from her arm.  "Captain," B’Elanna growled more than said.       Harry turned and said, "Captain, Commander."  He placed his hand again on B’Elanna’s arm.  This time more as a warning for her to keep her cool then to try to convince her to leave.       "Harry, B’Elanna," the Captain said softly as she took a step closer to Tom’s biobed. She decided for the moment to ignore B’Elanna’s obvious hostility.  She couldn’t help wondering briefly if it was deserved.  "How is he?" the Captain asked.       As if you care, B’Elanna thought, but to the Captain she said nothing. She could feel Chakotay’s eyes on her warning her to keep quiet.  It was Harry who answered, "The same I guess, he hasn’t woken since I’ve been there. He seems to be sleeping peacefully, at least.  The Doctor said the more rest he gets the better, so…" Harry said his sentence drifting off.  He wasn’t sure what to say.  He could feel the anger coming off B’Elanna, and he wished the Captain would leave before B’Elanna said or did something Harry was sure she’d regret.  Not to mention that he really didn’t want any of them waking Tom.  The last thing Tom needed was to wake to the Captain and B’Elanna arguing over him.  That would definitely cause him to ask questions Harry did not want to have to answer.       The Captain stared at Tom.  He didn’t look too bad.  A bit pale, but otherwise he looked like he was simply sleeping.   She still had the urge to shake him and ask him how he could have done such a stupid thing, but most of the anger had faded.  She couldn’t believe that he of all her crew had so blatantly disobeyed her.   Tom often found himself in trouble.  He just seemed to attract it sometimes, but she had never doubted his loyalty to her. She had come to depend on that loyalty and his stealing the Delta Flyer and disobeying her direct orders had hurt her.  She had believed in him, given him a second chance, and watched with pride as he had taken that second chance and become a damn fine officer.  Then he had put her in the position of having to explain that one of her crew had disobeyed her orders.  One of her officers nonetheless.  Making it appear as if she could not control her own crew.  To prevent a confrontation between Voyager and the Moneans she had been forced to shoot at the Delta Flyer.  Tom had given her no choice but to shoot at him.       The urge to shake him came over her again.  What had he been thinking?  Like him she hated what the Moneans were doing to their planet, but she realized you couldn’t save every world and that not every battle could be won or should even be fought.   That was part of the problem, she realized, Tom hadn’t realized that you shouldn’t fight every battle.  He didn’t realize that sometimes doing what seemed right could actually cause more harm then letting what appeared to be an obvious wrong slide.  She mentally sighed.  She knew she was right to demote him.  There was no doubt in her mind about that and time in the brig was also justified, but she realized thirty days had been excessive.  He looked fine, and maybe he would be fine after some time, but that didn’t change the fact that she had left him in the brig obviously reliving one of the worst periods of his life.       "I’m going to check with the Doctor about Tom," the Captain said.  She thought about telling B’Elanna she should get something to eat as Harry had suggested, but decided that her saying something would probably hurt rather than help Harry’s argument.  She nodded to both Harry and B’Elanna and headed off to the Doctor’s office.       Chakotay hung around for a moment to speak with B’Elanna, "You okay?" he asked.   She nodded still glaring at the Captain’s back.  "B’Elanna you really should go to the mess hall with Harry and get something to eat.  Tom will probably sleep for a while longer.  Come on," Chakotay said.       B’Elanna looked at him and exasperated turned to Harry and said, "Fine, come on Harry, let’s get out of here."  She figured it was better than having to hang around and try to keep her temper in front of the Captain. Hopefully, by the time she got back the Captain would be gone.  After a last glance at Tom, B’Elanna stormed out of Sickbay.  Harry shrugged at the Commander and followed his volatile friend.  With a shake of his head, Chakotay headed off to the Doctor’s office. TBC