The Game By Morticia Part 5/? "I love you Tom Paris," Chakotay said, his voice choking with emotion. "I want to worship your body with mine, I want to show you what you mean to me. I want to prove to you that you are where my world begins and ends. I want to, oh fuck, what a load of trite crap. He'll laugh his head off, you old fool." He gazed at himself in the mirror, his dark eyes filled with self- disgust. He just couldn't find the words that would assure Tom that it wasn't just his body he was after, but his soul. Maybe it was just too soon, after all. Just because he couldn't control the ache in his own groin was no excuse to treat Tom like this. Spirits, he had yearned from afar for enough years, surely he could wait another few days or even weeks, rather than take the chance of frightening Tom off for good. Tom was definitely responding well to his lack of sexual attention, as far as he could see. It was practically unheard of for Tom to see the same person regularly, yet Tom had gone out with him every night for a week. Tom hadn't even been seeing Harry and Chakotay knew that the pair usually hung out together most evenings. And tonight was Friday night, he had been dating Tom for exactly a week, and as much as he had wanted to celebrate the fact, he had been reluctant to interfere with Tom's ritual of playing Pool with Harry and the Delaneys. He had assured Tom that he would be perfectly happy to watch as usual, especially since his medicine seemed to have worked and Tom was back in his favorite jeans. To his surprise and intense satisfaction, though, Tom had shyly whispered that he'd rather be alone with him tonight instead. Which was why he had changed his sheets, cleaned his bedroom, put a fresh container of lube in the bedside drawer, spent a good hour in the shower ensuring he was spotlessly clean himself, and had agonised for hours over what to wear that would be sexy, practical and easy to remove. Only now it didn't seem such a good idea, after all. He was taking Tom for granted, wasn't he? Maybe Tom would take his preparations the wrong way, as though after a week of dating, Chakotay was preparing to demand a return on the cost of their dates. Shit, he felt like a teenager again. He hadn't felt this nervous about a relationship since his first ever boyfriend. He'd been a Starfleet brat too, he recalled, and Chakotay had felt like a bumbling backwards fool next to the polished grace of someone brought up in the echelons of Starfleet. Maybe that was the truth of the matter after all. He just didn't feel good enough for Tom. Not only was the blond gorgeous enough to pick up anyone who took his fancy, but he was better educated and better bred. It didn't matter how badly Tom had screwed his life up in the past, it didn't detract from the basic truth that he was Starfleet nobility, born with a silver-spoon in his mouth, and far too good for a middle-aged, Dorvanian ex-maquis. Chakotay had long ago lost the insecurity he had borne in the academy. With maturity, he had learned to be proud of his heritage and be sure of his own strengths and abilities. Yet something about Tom Paris seemed to strip away those years of experience, leaving him vulnerable and afraid. "You're in love, you fool, that's all," he told his reflection. It was true. He loved Tom Paris and the feeling was both wonderful and terrifying. The more so because he honestly couldn't believe that Tom would ever feel the same way about him. ~~~ "But we *always* play pool together on Fridays," Harry whined. It was bad enough that Tom had stopped coming to his bed, but even when Tom was with B'Elanna, he had never failed to keep his weekly pool session with Harry and the Delaney Twins. "I know, Haz, and I'm sorry. I'll make it up to you, I promise," Tom assured him absently, rummaging through his wardrobe to find the white silk shirt that he knew was lurking somewhere within. He wanted to look angelic and virginal tonight. He had tried subtle, had tried seductive and had even tried playing "doctors" with Chakotay. Tonight he was going to try a completely new approach, tonight he would be Tom the coy and misunderstood virgin. So okay, it would take a bit of work to be convincing, but he had a feeling that the key to Chakotay's soul was to tap into the Commander's feelings of protectiveness. He would exploit Chakotay's own strengths and turn them into weaknesses. Chakotay had played a good game, but it was time for Tom to move in for the kill. ~~~ "It's not a very exciting program. It's a bit, well, juvenile, I guess. I hope you don't mind," Tom said hesitantly, as they paused at the entrance to the holodec. "I asked you to show me your favorite personal program, Tom. It doesn't matter *what* it is, I just want to get to know you better," Chakotay replied softly. Tom flushed, dropping his chin onto his chest so that he could avoid Chakotay's eyes. "It's probably not what you're expecting," he whispered. "It's my private place. Nobody else has ever been here." Which was true, at least, since Tom had only written the program that morning. He had started it as soon as he had hatched his new plot to break through Chakotay's resistance. Chakotay felt ridiculously touched. "Thank you, Tom. It means a lot to me that you trust me enough to share something so private with me," he said. Tom turned towards the control panel to hide his irrepressible grin of sweet triumph. "Computer, play Paris program Omega241." The door slid open and Chakotay's jaw dropped in wonder. He stepped forward over the soft grass and then waited for Tom to join him and the arch to disappear. "I can't believe it," Chakotay said in wonder, as his eyes scanned his surroundings. Tom kicked nervously at the grass under his feet. "I knew you'd think it was stupid," he sniffed sulkily, his voice filled with hurt. Chakotay turned towards him in astonishment only to be momentarily distracted by the way Tom's white shirt, so incongruous in the corridors of Voyager, now showed Tom to perfection in this setting. He drew Tom into his arms, ignoring the stiffness in Tom's shoulders, and hugged him fiercely. "It's not stupid at all. It's the most wonderful thing I have ever seen," he assured the younger man. "Really?" Tom gasped in amazement, "You aren't just saying that?" "Really, Tom. I admit that I *am* surprised. I never saw you as a romantic." Tom blushed. "It's not meant to be romantic," he said gruffly. "No-one was ever supposed to see it, but me." Chakotay laughed gently. "Maybe so, Tom, but a fairy-tale castle, unicorns, elves, fairy rings and rainbows, they seem pretty romantic to me." Tom shrugged. "I just liked them when I was a kid, wanted them to be real. Now, I'm no longer a kid, but I can *make* them real. They talk, you know, the animals, I mean. There's even a winged horse, and she can fly, and she'll sometimes let me ride her, if I ask really nicely, but she's shy so I don't suppose she'll come out." "And are there dragons and witches and goblins here too?" Chakotay asked, enchanted by Tom's program. Tom shuddered violently. "No," he spat. "There's nothing bad here, nothing bad at all. This is MY place. There's nothing bad here," he repeated, then he swung towards Chakotay in alarm. "Why did you think there would be?" he demanded furiously. "I'm sorry Tom, I didn't mean anything by it. It's just that most fairy tales have goblins and dragons and wicked step-mothers as well as fairy castles," Chakotay explained. "WELL MINE DON'T!" Tom screamed, wrenching himself out of Chakotay's arms and racing away towards the trees, his wild flight causing a family of rabbits to leap out of his way with angry curses. "Watch where you're going, young man," one of the rabbits squeaked in protest, only to be bowled over by Chakotay who was charging after him. "Sorry," Chakotay yelled back, before he remembered the rabbit was only a projection of light. He eventually found Tom sitting in a tiny copse, his arms wrapped around his knees, his tear-filled eyes oblivious to the tiny fairies that floated around him like concerned butterflies. "I'm sorry, Tom. The last thing I wanted to do was to upset you. This *is* a special, magical place and you're right, there's nothing bad here," Chakotay soothed, carefully seating himself next to Tom and draping his arm over his shoulders. Tom sniffed and rubbed at his tears with his forearm. "Why, Chak?" he whispered. "Why what?" Chakotay asked softly. "Why do people always think the worst of me?" Tom asked plaintively. "Why is it so impossible to believe that all I want is this," and he gestured helplessly around him, "instead of believing that I *want* the bad things too?" For a split-second, Chakotay was angry that Tom should have so badly misjudged his comments, then, as the thin shoulders shook in misery under his embrace, compassion took the place of his anger. Tom *was* right in a way. Had he placed bets on what Tom's favorite program would be, he would have expected a bordello, a bar or Captain Proton. It was one of the reasons he had been so shocked when Tom had arrived in loose white silk, rather than a leather jacket. Chakotay was also honest enough to understand that while Tom had over- reacted to his innocent statement, Tom's interpretation of his opinion was also a little too close to the bone. For a week, Tom had been open and honest with him, eagerly pursuing a relationship with him, and how had he reacted? With suspicion. His doubts had been more related to his own feelings of inadequacy than any distrust of Tom's motivations, yet did it really make any difference? The bottom line was that he *had* been waiting for something bad to happen, for a "goblin" or "witch" to emerge. He had no more taken Tom at face value than he had taken this program. Just as Tom had taken the risk of bringing him here to this secret place, so Tom had been taking risks all week long, since he had approached him in Sandrines. It was time to take a risk himself, he decided. "I love this program, Tom, and I love you." For a long while Tom was silent, and the sounds of birdsong and the beating of fairy wings was drowned by the thudding beat of Chakotay's heat. Then, still refusing to turn and face him, Tom finally spoke. "Please, Chakotay," he begged brokenly. "Don't say that if you don't mean it. I couldn't bear it if you didn't really mean it." "Oh Spirits, Tom, how could I possibly *not* mean it," Chakotay replied, twisting his body until he was facing Tom's tear-stained face. "You don't have any idea how beautiful you are, do you?" he asked Tom in wonder. "I don't just mean your face, Tom, I mean your soul. You *are* as beautiful and unexpected and wonderful as this secret place, and I *do* love you." Tom's eyes widened in disbelief and Chakotay drowned in the glistening blue pools. "I love you," Chakotay repeated firmly. A hesitant smile began to creep across Tom's face until it finally emerged in such brilliance that it rivalled the radiance of the sun. "Love me," Tom whispered, and Chakotay was lost. He pressed his lips lightly against Tom's, feeling a momentary resistance and then Tom's mouth opened and welcomed him in. He ran his tongue over Tom's, sampling his essence, savoring the sweet taste of his breath. With a groan, Chakotay leant into the kiss, distracting Tom with his tongue as his fingers fumbled with the old fashioned button fastenings of his white shirt. He pushed the silken material back over Tom's shoulders, revealing the firm muscles of Tom's chest and the surprisingly dark areola of Tom's nipples. He squeezed one between his forefinger and thumb, teasing it to a hard nub. Tom arched and gasped, his tongue flicking desperately into Chakotay's mouth to deepen the kiss, yet Chakotay pulled his mouth away, ignoring Tom's sob of abandonment, and lowering his mouth to Tom's chest he sucked on Tom's erect tit. He teased the flesh with his teeth, sucking hard enough to leave an angry red mark, then transferred his attentions to Tom's other nipple, this time biting down hard enough to make Tom squeal. Placing his hands firmly on Tom's shoulders, he pushed the younger man down until he was prone on the soft grass, his hips straddled by Chakotay's thighs. Chakotay lowered his head to Tom's stomach and laved his tongue into Tom's belly-button. Tom bucked beneath him, his crotch leaping to meet Chakotay's own. As Chakotay felt the solid hardness of Tom's interest touching his own, he lost any remaining self-control. "Do you want me, Tom?" he gasped, already beginning to unbutton Tom's white jeans. "Oh god, YES," Tom wept shamelessly. His chest was on fire from Chakotay's bites and his cock was straining eagerly against its fabric cage. If Chakotay didn't hurry up and release it from its restraint, Tom was going to have to replicate a clean pair of pants just to walk back to his quarters. Chakotay snapped open the buttons of Tom's fly, and began to peel the material down Tom's hips. "Beautiful," he purred in appreciation, as Tom's elegant cock and heavy balls were revealed, nestled in a nest of red-gold hair. He snaked out his tongue and ran it delicately over the weeping glans, then, as Tom bucked in reaction, he slid back up Tom's body and pushed his tongue into Tom's mouth so that the pilot could taste himself. His blue eyes glazed and almost black with desire, Tom's hands began to rip frantically at Chakotay's own shirt. "No, Tom, not here. I want to fuck you, Tom, if I may?" "Oh Gods, yes, fuck me, fuck me NOW!" For a moment, Chakotay was almost swayed by the evident, shameless need in Tom's husky voice, but fortunately common sense asserted itself. "We don't have time, Tom. We barely have another ten minutes left before we have to leave the holodec, and I can assure you that ten minutes is not enough for the way that I intend to fuck you," he promised. "Besides, I don't have any lube, and I'd rather cut my cock off than ever hurt you with it, Tom. Let's take this back to my quarters, okay?" Tom sighed in reluctant acceptance. "Sure," he said. "Only I've got a problem." "What's wrong, Tom?" Chakotay asked in alarm. "I don't think I can get my pants back on," Tom moaned, pointing sheepishly at his jutting cock. Chakotay smiled broadly. "Oh, believe me, Tom. That's *no* problem," he snickered. As Chakotay's mouth swallowed him, Tom grunted in ecstasy and sank back on the grass, opening his legs wide enough for Chakotay's fingers to caress his ass, while his talented mouth siphoned at his cock. "Game, set and match, Chakotay," he whispered softly, then relaxed back to enjoy the ride. TBC